I deeply apologize for the lack of words on my part. I have been in this weird funk when it comes to writing or being creative at all; which I find ironic now after seeing that my last topic was about happiness and writing makes me happy. Anyways, I still do not have an idea of what to write about so I just decided to stop thinking and write. I also have decided that it's okay to have some fun with my blog, like fashion trends and music reviews etc. As I grow as a person and young adult, I'm realizing that it is okay if I am still growing. I do not have to be a 100% mature individual that has no weak moments or times when I want nothing more but to be young. I have spent so much of my life trying to prove to everyone around me that I am mature, grown and independent but really all I am and need to be is ME. So along with my wisdom filled, serious blog posts I am going to start adding some entertainment as well, DIY's, trends, How To's, OOTD's etc. I thought maybe that would spark my creative flame again and maybe put a blow dryer to the damper of my blog.
The other day my boyfriend and I had an argument, where in the argument I shut down in worry of sounding "ridiculous". I want to share the things that were brought to my attention from that conversation. Tony, asked me why I felt like I had to come across as this all put together person around other people and reassured me that I shouldn't worry about that around him.
Side note: Tony is the most supportive, loving and understanding individual I've ever had the pleasure of knowing and loving.
My answer to his questions were shocking even to myself as I said them. I had a time of raw, emotional weakness. I cried and yet I was smiling because of the release that I felt after just letting myself be weak. I think, in fact I know that my answer will scream out to so many young adults my age and even grown women and men. I said that because of a lot of other people having their weakness exposed to me, I always felt that I had to be the stronger one. Thats in friends, parents, siblings, literally everyone. I have always tried to take on the strong willed, independent, mature persona and have never let myself just be the 18 year old girl that is emotional, easily irritated, quirky and totally doesn't have it all together. And the thing is, I couldn't be told this by anyone. I had to figure this out all on my own. I had to admit it to myself.
It's okay to be a complete mess, because everyone is. It's okay to not know what to write about or to change things up. It's okay to release a happy cry to your boyfriend after a totally pointless argument. It's okay to be your age wether that is 14, 18, 27 or 46. Because it feels so much better to just accept that I have a ridiculous amount of trash I have to take down stairs and all though I have all my homework done now, tomorrow I might have ten other things assigned to me.
Now I know this doesn't sound like the happy fun blog I just described, but it describes exactly how I came to the conclusion of throwing some fun into it. I think we can all throw some fun into our lives maybe not in blog form, but in our daily routines. When you're getting ready in the morning tomorrow, listen to some fun music, dance around and sing out loud. When you drive to work think of all the things you're going to get done and accomplish rather than the things you have to do. Find time to accept where you are in life and if you're happy then continue doing whatever you're doing. If you are a total mess, accept that and do whatever it takes to turn it around!
Wow, this post is extremely unfocused and my thoughts are just being spit out onto my laptop right now. I love it.
Thanks for being patient with me darlings, the fun has just begun
Xoxo
Oh! SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO AMBER VALENZUELA!!! This sweet soul has been my number one fan since starting this blog and she continues to cheer me on! Also, she always let's me borrow her nail polish which is also awesome. Thank you for all your kind words Amber!
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